“I’m quite proud of us both for being involved”

After performing with the ACTA theatre company in 2024, Carl and Chrissy became Bristol Health Partners public contributors, providing their lived experience of mental health challenges to our Self-harm Matters Health Integration Team (HIT).

Q: We watched you play brilliantly with the Bristol Recovery Orchestra at the Beacon recently. Why is performing important for your mental health?

Carl: When I’m on stage. I’m a character, not myself. I’m an expression. It’s not like being me, I don’t bring my insecurities along with that character. So when I am on stage, there’s confidence. In real life, I feel very different.

Chrissy: It feels like I don’t have a mental health issue for the time that I’m performing. It all kind of goes away.

Q: Why did you want to get involved with Bristol Health Partners?

Chrissy: It’s something that really connects with me and Carl, and I’m really hoping it can help others that have gone through what we have.

Carl: Doing talking therapy has opened up a lot of things for me and helped me get through them. And I thought that maybe it would also be therapeutic if I actually tried to make things better for others too.

It’s important to have people like us in the room who have been in the position of the clients. It makes a lot more sense than only having people who have studied [mental health]. I’ve studied mental health my whole life because I’ve lived it. It affects me every moment of every day. So being there means we’re actually helping to make decisions about the support that people get.

Q: You’ve supported Trauma Informed Training for researchers run by Second Step, where you share your lived experience. How has that been for you?

Chrissy: The last training day we were at made me realise that sometimes we’re not over the trauma of past experiences. When I spoke to the group I said that a trauma can resurface anytime and sometimes in places you don’t expect. It’s a bit like when you have a tough break up. You might think you’re completely over it until you see them in the street, even years later. For me, I think by being reminded that trauma can revisit us, we can try to work through that, rather than let it manifest into something worse.

Carl: I suppose at the beginning I couldn’t help wonder if it would be worth reopening old wounds and whether we were going to be welcomed with genuine compassion, but I was quickly proven that they had taken on board a lot of what we have said and our inputs were genuinely helpful and we really were appreciated.

Chrissy: Someone said to us on the day that normally they get to talk about people [with trauma] rather than with them, so for them it was a lot more helpful.

Carl: It has helped me learn to be kinder to myself too – through the exercises where the trainers show you different techniques to calm down.

Q: What else have you been involved in?

Carl: We went to Swindon with some researchers. They wanted to talk to other people with mental health challenges to find out what new research should focus on. We acted as peer support, so if anything came up that was too much for anyone they could talk to us. We also did a little icebreaker at the start to get everyone loose and talking – we’d brought our guitars and got everyone involved. We made sure everyone was heard and that everyone had a chance to speak.

Q: If you could change one thing about the health and care system what would it be?

Carl: I spoke with a police officer recently. I asked if he had had trauma informed training, and he said he had had it a few weeks ago. That was something that we had recommended in a HIT meeting, that police officers should get trauma informed training so that when they’re dealing with people who are having an episode, they don’t lock them in a cell and arrest them, they give them help instead. So they can tell the difference between somebody who’s acting out and someone who’s struggling. It’s good to know that it’s starting to happen.

Chrissy: I would probably make [therapy] feel less like you were there for mental health support, because people don’t always want to admit or even open up when they know that’s what it’s about. For example, playing in the orchestra makes you feel like you’re there for something other than your problems. Sometimes, you just need a bit of time to open up.

Q: What have you learned during the year? About the health and care system and about yourselves?

Carl: I’ve learned a lot about how the system is run, and how much they need us! [laughs]. And how much needs to change.

We’re treated just like any other members of the group, not patronised or anything, I don’t feel out of place. I actually feel that my being there is very useful. Being around so many academics and being so appreciated is a great feeling. It’s empowering. Even in a system which is flawed – where the people who makes the decisions and provide the funding have probably never been in the position of the clients – it gives you hope.

Chrissy: It’s definitely easier with the two of us. We’re a package! And we’re always looking out for each other too. I’m quite proud of us both for being involved in all of this.